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29.6.13

What if we said it was about making ME excited?


English below

I år har jeg købt min første bikini. Nogensinde. Jeg har aldrig haft en før, for samfundet har det med at sige, at tykke piger ikke må gå i bikini. Men i år købte jeg en. Og det er et kæmpe skridt for mig. Og ikke nok med, at jeg har købt en bikini - jeg glæder mig også til at have den med på ferie og jeg har det dejligt i den! Efter at have set smukke plus size piger se superflotte ud i bikinier de sidste par år besluttede jeg mig for, at hvis de kunne, så kunne jeg også!

For et par uger siden så jeg et billede på Instagram med hashtagget Fatkini. En kvinde havde taget et billede af Gabifreshs fantastiske svømme-kollektion og skrev under billedet, at det var en bevægelse i en helt forkert retning. Billedet er sidenhen blevet slettet, men jeg har tænkt meget over ordene, som stod under billedet. Jeg kan ganske vist ikke citere hende ordret, siden hun har slettet billedet, men jeg mindes, at hun skrev, at dét at  kunne have en bikini på på stranden burde være en belønning for at kunne kontrollere sin vægt og at tykke mennesker derfor ikke burde have lov til at gå at vise deres deller til andre. Og så sluttede hun af med at skrive, at hun i hvert fald ikke blev glad (hun brugte ordet excited) af at se på tykke piger i bikini og at det kun ville gøre vores selvtillid endnu dårligere, at alle ikke ville blive glade for at se vores kroppe. 

For et par år siden ville jeg sikkert have taget hendes kommentar enormt personligt. Jeg var usikker dengang og jeg havde måske givet hende ret - eller i hvert fald have besluttet mig for, at jeg aldrig skulle have en bikini, på grund af sådan en kommentar. Men jeg læste ikke kommentaren for et par år siden, heldigvis. I stedet for at blive ked af sådan et synspunkt, fik jeg rystet mine egne holdninger på plads og tænkt over, hvorfor jeg har købt mig min bikini. 

Min bikini er en belønning for, at jeg elsker mig selv, som jeg er og at jeg dagligt arbejder med min selvtillid. Jeg tager ikke min bikini på for at provokere. Jeg tager den ikke på for at vise mine deller. Jeg har den på, fordi den er rar at have på. Og fordi min størrelse ikke bør sætte grænser for, hvad jeg kan have på. Grænserne sættes af mit humør og min selvtillid, ikke af min størrelse og ikke af samfundets holdning. Jeg har det godt i min bikini og jeg har den på, fordi jeg har det godt i den (og også lidt fordi min kæreste, synes jeg ser godt ud i den). Den dag, hvor jeg tog billederne ovenfor, følte jeg mig tilpas, flot, glad og stærk. Stærk fordi jeg for alvor følte, at jeg havde gjort noget for mig selv, fordi jeg selv havde lyst. Og jeg gjorde det selvom samfundet siger, at jeg ikke burde. Og jeg følte mig elsket. Af mig selv. 

Damen på Instagram glemte vist at tænke på, at man ikke altid klæder sig på for at gøre alle andre glade. Hvad nu hvis vi sagde, det bare handler om, at det gør mig glad? I så fald: mission fuldført!

English:
This year I bought my first bikini. Ever. I've never had one before, because I listened to society and it says that fat girls shouldn't be wearing bikinis. But this year I bought one. And it feels like a giant step for me. I didn't just buy a bikini - I bought a bikini and I can't wait to wear it this summer and I feel great in it! After seeing beautiful plus size women looking beautiful in bikinis over the last couple of years I decided, that if they could do it - so could I!

A few weeks ago I stumpled acroess a photo on Instagram hashtagged with "Fatkini". A woman took a photo of an article about Gabifresh's lovely swimwear collection and stated beneath it, that it was a movement going in the wrong direction. The photo was deleted, but I've been thinking alot about the words that was accompanied by the photo. Obviously I wont be able to cite this woman, since she deleted what she said, but I remember her writing something like "wearing bikinis is the reward for controlling your weight" and that fat people shouldn't go around showing of their fat to others. And then she ended of by saying that she didn't feel excited about seeing fat girls in bikinis and that it would only make our self confidence even worse, that not everyone would be happy to see our bodies in bikinis. 

A few years ago I would've probably taken her words very personal. I was quite insecure then and I might have agreed with her - or at least decided never to get a bikini because of her words. But I didn't read this comment a few years ago. Luckily. Instead of being upset about it, I took my time to think about why I decided to get a bikini. 

My bikini is my reward for loving myself and for working with my self confidence every single day. I'm not wearing it to provoke. And I'm not wearing it to show off my rolls. I'm wearing it because it feels nice. And because my size shouldn't be setting the limit for what I can wear. The limits are made up by my mood and my confidence. Not by my size and not by the opinion of the society. I'm feeling great in my bikini and I'm wearing it because of that (and also a little because my boyfriend thinks I look cute in it). The day I took the photos above I felt comfortable, pretty, happy and empowered because I truly felt that I did something for me, because I wanted to. And I did it even though society says I shouldn't. And I felt loved. By me. 

The woman on Instagram forgot, that we don't (at least not always) dress a certain way to make others happy or excited. What if we said it's all about making me excited? In that case: mission accomplished. 

21 kommentarer:

  1. oooh where did you get this fatkini? its soooo beautiful!

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    1. Thank you - it's from swimsuitsforall.com, but last time I checked it was sold out.

      xx

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  2. i love this bikini! looks so great!

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  3. Alt for lækkert at du gør det! Et stort klap på skulderen fra mig. Du ser super godt ud!
    Og hvis damen ikke kan li at kigge på det, kan hun bare kigge væk! Tænk at have ondt i røven over sådan noget. Hun må være et sølle menneske.

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    1. Tusind tak for din kommentar og dit kompliment, Lene. Det betyder meget for mig. :)

      Og ja, jeg har også en lille teori om, at dem der råber højest om, hvad andre må og ikke må, nok i virkeligheden er dem, der har det hårdest med dem selv. :)

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  4. Så sandt som det er sagt. Vi klæder os ikke på for at glæde andre, men for at glæde os selv. Skønt du er glad for din bikini som du ser smuk ud i.

    ILYG
    www.angelqueen.dk

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    1. Tusind tak for din kommentar! :)

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  5. Malene, this is such a powerful message! It is not only beautifully said, it is inspiring! I love the idea of dressing for me, not for my spouse or for others, but for me. There are days when I feel very confident and like you, might be inspired to wear something that is out of my comfort zone and there are days all I can muster is a pair of sweatpants. But that's okay, because no matter what, it's about what makes me feel good. The opinion of others should not matter. We must continue to create awareness to the fact that society must not and should not dictate what women wear. We are all individuals with different tastes and sizes and no body type should be off limits to wearing any particular piece of clothing. Good for you for rocking your two piece! You are my hero! :)

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    1. Aw, thank you so much for your comment, Bella! It made me smile from ear to ear. :D

      And hero? What a wonderful word to recieve. Thank you so, so much.

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  6. Anonym29.6.13

    Hej Malene
    Tak for en lækker og inspirerende blog.
    Nedenstående har givet mig en del at tænke over, håber den kan inspirere dig lidt :-)
    Mvh Anne

    http://www.dressaday.com/2006/10/20/you-dont-have-to-be-pretty/

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    1. Hej Anne

      Tak for sin kommentar og tak for linket! Det er i hvert fald inspirerende læsning! :)

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  7. Du er så pis hamrende sej, din bikini er fed og du ser tip laber ud i den! Sikke en selvtillid og sikke et mod! Jeg er så vildt stolt over at kende dig! Jeg vil skisme også have en bikini! Og øve mig i at have det så godt i min krop som du ser ud til at have i din!
    Du er smuk! Tak for et skønt og stærkt indlæg!!

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    1. Tusind tak, Stine. Du er så sød, er du! Og kom igang med at øve dig ;)

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  8. You look great and instead of thinking about what the others (would) say, just look forward to times, where being fat is not a crime ;)

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    1. Thank you Ela :) Let's hope that the day will come. Who knows?

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  9. Hi Malene, I totally agree with you ; "that we don't (at least not always) dress a certain way to make others happy or excited."
    we need to be comfortable with our own body , as long as we don't do any harm to others I really don't understand why some people have to be mean and make others feel bad.
    I love your blog because you always dress up nice and pretty, I want to post more OOTDs in the future on my blog as well!
    there's no reason to look shabby just because we have some more going on here and there ;))

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    1. Hi Pamela!
      Exactly - we don't harm anyone looking like we do. If someone feels offended by it, then they should just look the other way and think it to themselves instead.
      Thank you so much! I can't wait to see more of your OOTDs. :D

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  10. I am so with you—things like this shouldn't be used as rewards for changing our bodies, but rather loving them. It makes life an infinitely better place.
    And it really does look great on you. :)

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    1. Thank you, beautiful Sarah :)

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  11. You look so good in the bikini, I love it <3

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