A year ago today.

I dag er det helt præcist et år siden, at vi fandt ud af, at vores lille datter var på vej. Hun var ikke planlagt til punkt og prikke, hun kom meget hurtigere end vi regnede med, men hun var velkommen og jeg vidste nok egentlig godt på forhånd, at noget var anderledes - og jeg havde på fornemmelsen at jeg var gravid. Jeg kan huske, at jeg var mere træt end ellers, at jeg var øm her og der, at jeg havde en snert at morgenkvalme og at min lugtesans var blevet skærpet cirka tusind gange, så jeg var blevet ekstremt sart overfor mindre rare dufte. 

Jeg kan huske, at solen skinnede lige så flot, som den gør i dag. Og jeg kan huske, at jeg havde den mærkeligste fornemmelse i kroppen. Det var sikkert en blanding af glæde og panik, men jeg kunne slet ikke stoppe med at smile. Min kæreste vaskede op, da jeg kaldte ham ud på badeværelset - så han det samme som mig; en klar pink streg og så en helt sart lyserød streg, som knap nok var til at ane? Det gjorde han. Og så skal jeg ellers lige love for, at vores liv fik fart på. 

Jeg kan huske, at jeg var i syv sind over, hvem vi skulle fortælle det til og hvor hurtigt. Og at jeg havde dårlig samvittighed over at have drukket øl og spist sushi to aftener før. Jeg fik også pludseligt travlt med at komme på undskyldninger for, hvorfor jeg ikke kunne fejre min kærestes nye job, som han havde fået to dage før, med champagne hos hans forældre. De valgte heldigvis en øl i stedet og det er de færreste øl jeg bryder mig om, så jeg kunne snige mig udenom uden forklaring. Men det var en underlig fornemmelse, at gå rundt og gemme på så stor en hemmelighed og der gik da heller ikke længe, før vores nærmeste vidste besked. 

Det er ret underligt, for på én og samme tid føles det som om det var igår og som om det var en evighed siden. Gry er snart fire måneder gammel nu og nogle dage er det stadig som om det ikke helt er gået op for mig, at der var to lyserøde streger på den dér pind for et år siden. Det hele er simpelthen gået så stærkt og nu sidder vi her - to er blevet til tre og det er helt vidunderligt. Og hårdt. Helt vildt hårdt, men allermest bare helt vildt vidunderligt. Og hun er vidunderlig. 

English: 

Excactly one year ago today we found out that our little daughter was on her way. Every detail of her wasn't planned, she came faster than we thought she would but she was welcome and I actually kinda already knew what was going on - I felt different and I had a feeling it was due to being pregnant. I remember being more tired than usual, feeling a little sick in the morning, experiencing pain here and there and I especially remember being really(!) sensitive to smells. 

I remember the sun was shining just as bright that day as it is today. And I remember that strange feeling I had. I guess it was a mix of happines and panick but I remember I just couldn't wipe the smile off my face. My boyfriend was doing the dishes that morning when I called him into the bathroom and I needed to ask him if he was seeing the same as me - a bright pink line and then one pale pink line too. So pale we could hardly see it. But it was there. He saw the same thing as me and our life picked up speed from that moment. 

I remember I had no idea who we were going to tell and how fast. And I remember feeling guilty about having two beers and sushi two evenings before. And I was constantly thinking about how I was going to explain why I didn't want any champagne at my boyfriend's parents that afternoon to celebrate that he had been offered a job two days before that. Luckily they decided to drink beer instead and since I don't like most beers I had no explaining to do. It was the strangest feeling to have a huge secret like that and it didn't take long before the people closest to us knew. 

It's the weirdest thing, 'cause it feels like this day was just yesterday. At the same time it seems like ages ago. She's four months in a few weeks and sometimes it still feels like I don't really understand what has happened to us - that we're a family now, that she's here. It's like I don't really understand the two pink lines that day, a year ago. It's all gone by so fast and here we are - two became three and it's wonderful! It's tough too. Being parents is a hard job. Really hard. But most of all it's just wonderful. And so is she.